Destinys Calling
by Granger-gurl-rox
Summary: [One Shot] HHr Harry leaves to fight Voldemort without Hermione... even though he promised she could come


**Destinys Calling**

**Summery: one shot _That's what you had needed then, in that weak moment filled with guilt and depression. When she was your friend, your strength, and she said exactly what you needed to hear. In return you agreed to let her come and stand by you. _Harry leaves to fight Voldemort without Hermione...HHr **

**I'm trying something slightly different from my other fics, this will be written in 2nd person compared with the 3rd person I usually do, hope its works.**

**There is going tobe a change in POV for this fic. It starts as Harry's then shifts to Hermione's but later on it will shift back and forth. I don't say where but you should be able to tell due to the wording, if I did sayit would interrupt the flow of the story so I apologise if you become confused.**

* * *

You're stood at the doorway watching her sleep while the moonlightstreams through a gap in the curtains.It's gentle raysilluminate her natural beauty. You always thought she was beautiful thoughtespecially after seeing her at the Yule Ball all those years ago. The first time you noticed her as something other than your 'bookworm best friend'. You are so happy that she chose to be with you, you don't think you deserve her, but you can't help and be slightly selfish and be glad that's she isyours.She's so peaceful when she sleeps; there's something captivating about a sleeping angel. 

But you can't stand here and admire her sleeping form you have to go soon. Go to find and kill the wizard who has been after you for the past 10 years ever since you started school. You can't believe it's been almost a decade.

You told her, you told her one day you'd have to go away for a while and she swore she was going to come with you. You agreed to let her come. That's what you had needed then, in that weak moment filled with guilt and depression. When she was your friend, your strength, and she said exactly what you needed to hear. In return you agreed to let her come and stand by you. You told her you wouldn't have it any other way, that she could always be by your side and you hoped she always would be as she had promised. Later as you grew older, grew closer, as you became so much more than friends, you realised the world was not all rainbows and butterflies. When you realised that there was a real chance that she could be hurt, killed even, you drew the conclusion that she would not be coming. What if something happened to her? You realised you can't let that happen, you can't let her come. What if she got hurt? That's why you're sneaking away, cowardice, you know it is but you don't care. Anything to keep her safe. You'd sell your soul to the Devil just so she would never have to feel pain again.

It's hard to do it this way but it's for the best, it's less painful. You can't bear to make her upset, to see tears fill those chocolate brown eyes of hers. You have spent days convincing yourself that this way is the best. That there is no other way. You won't be able to hold her once last time but if you did you wouldn't be able to leave. You wouldn't be able to let her go, you would want to stay with her forever if you had a choice.

But Voldemort doesn't let you have choices; you know that. You've never had a choice when it came to him. He's dictated your life for the past 21 years, when he killed your parents.

You walk softly across the room to where she is and appreciate the view before you. You know you won't see it for a while. You love her with every fibre of your being and your heart is breaking having to say goodbye to her.

You sit gently on the edge of your bed, you need to at least say goodbye, even if she won't hear you. Maybe the sleeping can hear you subconsciously, at least you hope so.

"Hermione," you whisper as not to wake her, "it's time. I've got to go, I don't want to leave you here but at least I'll know you're safe. I'm begging you please don't follow me please stay here. I can't lose you."

Careful not to wake her you take her hand in yours desperate for some contact from your love.

"Be safe, be strong and I know you believe in me. That's what is keeping me going: that I know your supporting me. That's why I'm going to beat him Hermione, beat him for you. You shouldn't have to live in fear like this," you tell her.

She stirs slightly and you hope she's not dreaming. Recently her dreams haven't been pleasant and she has needed you to hold her when she awakes. But your not going to be here much longer. You hope she'll be ok. Her parent's death hit her hard but you helped her back on her feet when she fell down, just like she has done for you.

You glance at your watch and find that it is nearly time to go. You're meeting everyone at the headquarters in 10 minutes and you want to spend your last moments with her.

Leaning in you drop a small kiss on her forehead. _This is it_ you tell yourself, you have to pull away from her but you don't think you can. You have never had to be separated from her for so long and she has always been with you. Always by your side. You hope and pray she'll still want you when you come back, that she wont be so mad that she doesn't want to be with you. You would break if she suggested that, you wouldn't cope, you couldn't watch her date other guys. Deep down you know that will not happen. You know Hermione.

"I love you don't forget that."

You know you have her confidence, her faith and her love however you can't stop the tear that steadily makes a track down your face.

Glancing at your watch for the last time you see it strike 3 am.

Times up.

You have to go.

How can you leave her?

You lean in again to kiss her goodbye but this time capture her lips and your lone tear drops onto her soft skin but you don't notice insignificant details like that.

"I love you," you repeat.

You stand trying not to imagine her reaction in the morning when she finds that you've gone missing from your bed. You know she'll panic and then she'll find your letter and be angry and annoyed that you went without her. You can almost see the flicker in her chocolate brown eyes of comprehension at what your departure actually means. She'll pale and fall, collapse ontoyour bed, before tears of fear for your safety begin to fall from her beautiful eyes. The droplets settling on her long lashes and sliding down her soft skin. The pain she will feel from the thought of losing you is enough to make you not go at all. You only hope that last night you reassured her of everything. You made love to her for the final time. You poured you mind, body and soul into her that night wanting to remind her exactly how much you love her.

"Goodbye my love," you whisper before leaving the room. You feel your heart wrench from your body because it hurt so much to leave her. You close the door behind you with a heavy heart as it sinks to your stomach and try and promise yourself that you will be back. Then you remind yourself you'd give anything to see those chocolate browneyes again, to hold her in your arms and that is what is going to bring Voldemort down.

With that you've gone.

* * *

You wake up and know you have been dreaming again. It was about Harry this time. You glance at the alarm clock by your bed and the illuminous hands tell you that it hasjust gone three in the morning. That awkward time not quite five past but long since the hour. It's rather indecisive. As you have raised your head to glance up at the clock something slips down your cheek. You raise your hand to wipe it away and find it's a small drop of water. You presume you've shed a tear in your sleep again but there is no need to tell Harry, he'll just worry about you when he has more important things to focus on. You have noticed how clingy he has been the past few days but you don't question it. When you were merely sat in a room reading or listening to the WWN he had to hold you, hold you so close as though if he let you go you would disappear. He knows that if he needs you you're always there to talk. Like you always have been. You remember one time talking about girls in your 5th year. You smile to yourself at how clueless he was and how that it took a further 3 years to see you. Always there for him, always ready to help him, always wanting him. Thinking of Harry you roll over to face him but the thoughts about your magical night last night are abruptly cut short in your mind. 

He's not there. He's gone.

You presume he's just gone to the toilet and will be back shortly so you wait up for him...

... You've been waiting up for him for almost a year now.

You've long since overcome how furious you were with him when you realised he'd gone without you, yes that left you a while ago. Almost instantly in fact. When it dawned where exactly he had gone and whom he was going to face alone, without you. That's when the fear clawed at your heart and the pain overrode all logical thought and you collapsed in a crying heap. You just want him back safely; you just want him to come back to you.

You've received a few owls but all are short and far between and say nothing more than his well being and his love for you. You keep them with you at all times something to remind you of him. You even keep the one you found the night he went away.

_Hermione,_

_When you find this I'll have long since gone. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person but you would have found a way to convince me to let you come with me and I couldn't allow that. You see I've gone to kill Voldemort. The bastards long since over stayed welcome on the planet and I've left with the Order to find him. We've been making progress that I've failed to tell you about. I'm sorry. It's too risky to let you come; I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. I would be too worried about you and your whereabouts to concentrate on the task at hand. I can't tell you how long I will be away but I will try my hardest to come back to you as soon as possible._

_I love you so much that as I watch you sleeping while I write this I can barely find the strength to leave you here all alone. Please forgive me,_

_Yours forever_

_Harry_

_Xxxxx_

You've taken to dressing in his clothes as well and stay awake all night sometimes trying to remember what he looks like. You're so scared that you're going to forget and hope desperately that the next day will be the one, the one when he comes back but so far you can only hope. You've lost a lot of weight as you're barely eating,you're constantly tired as you aren't sleeping, you darent sleep. Last time you slept properly Harry left you in the night and you woke up alone. No you'll never sleep properly until his return.

Ever since he left youyour dreams have become more frequent. At the demolished wreck your parents once called a house, your childhood home, it's not always your parents you find slaughtered in the rubble it varies between them and Harry. Many a time you've awoken screaming his name, sweat mixed with tears clinging to your icy skin. Half of the time you spring from yourbed and dress ready to go after him then realise it'd be a waste of time. You have no idea where he is and it'd be suicide to try and find him. He's risking his life for you and you'd only be repaying him by getting yourself killed. The other half of the times you are awoken you turn instinctively for him to hold you and protect you but then you realise he's not there. That makes you cry even harder. You are always strong, you are always independent but even you have moments of weakness and Harry is the only one who can hold you, it's only his embrace you can feel safe in. And when you wake up from these nightmares its him you need. It's him! And he's not here; he's not here when you fucking need him. He's saving the world, the world that has had a mixed opinion of him all his life. Hero. Crackpot. Champion. Unstable. Whereas you've _always_ loved him for who he his, well it seems that long. He's out risking his life for them because he _has _to when you need him, screw being selfish, screw this righteous hero crap. You need him, you want him, you're his girlfriend and he's not here...

You're so alone, well not in the physical sense, you have people visiting you all the time and you have to go to work but emotionally. Emotionally you're isolated from everyone. You envy all the couples around you kissing each other, hugging each other or merely holding hands. You miss Harry but you believe no news is good news. That is all you think you have to believe in at the moment. No news. The thought that Harry would defeat Voldemort using his head, heart andmagical abilityno matter what is slipping away the longer he's away.

You've been in so much pain since he left, you constantly feeling a dull ache that accompanies you wherever you go. You just want it to leave; you want to stem the waterfall of tears that come every night. You want him to wrap his arms around you in his protective embrace and you want him to tell you he loves you again.

Crying you lay your head onto the pillow clutching his shirt close to your body. He'll come back to you, you know it. You have to believe it. You pull the duvet cover closer round your small body pretending it's his embrace.

* * *

A bang from downstairs startles you from your restless slumber. You glance over at the clock on the side and groan, its three in the morning. You close your eyes but then there's that bang again. You're fully awake now, wand in hand, ready to defend yourself. 

You stealthilyexit your bedroom but stop on the landing as someone is ascending upstairs. Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest and blood is pounding in your ears but your hold your resolve. The intruder reaches the top of the landing and that's when you yell, "lumos."

Your voice and sudden light startle the intruder.

But he's not an intruder he lives here...with you. He's back. After a year two months three weeks and five days he's here standing in your landing.

"Its ok it's me," he says in his defence.

Without thinking you drop your wand and run towards him jumping into his arms. You cling to him and in desperation pray you are not dreaming. You've dreamed about your reunion too much and the pain of him never actually being there kills you a little bit more each time. But when he wraps his arms around you, you know he's real.

You can't stop the tears from flowing and cry into his chest. He pulls away slightly and holds your face in his hands.

You see his emerald eyes.

You see her chocolate ones.

For so long you've both yearned for each other and you are reunited. Your lips claim each other's in a furious battle of longing. You get to see her eyes again, those eyes you so longed for when you left her sleeping in that bed.

She wraps her legs around your waist and her arms around your neck as you support her.

She is the first to pull away. The soft light from her fallen wand illuminates you in your own world. "I love you, I've missed you so much, I love you. I love you," she repeats tightening you in her embrace her fingers tracing your face, "please tell me this is real, please tell me you're real."

You take in everything, her touch, her scent, and her heart beating against yours. Everything that you've missed and longed for so much.

"I'm real," you reply, "I love you."

Her tears mirror your own that cascade down her face.

She is still in your arms and she can stay there for as long as she likes for all you care. You've missed her too much to let her go anytime soon.

"What happened? Are you ok? What about Voldemort?" She reels off questions.

They're insignificant now, now that she is here

"Gone," you merely state.

You can't believe he's just said that, "gone?" You ask again.

"Gone," he confirms.

"You did it," you praise a teary smile on your lips.

"No," he corrects, "you did it, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have the ability to kill him. Love was what killed him, my love for you and each time I questioned why I was there, each time I felt like deserting or giving up I just remembered you here alone without me ...I did it for you."

"You've been gone such a long time," and you burst into tears again you hate the fact that its been so long.

"Shhhhh," he soothes and with you still wrapped around him carries you into your bedroom. He lays you both down on the bed and hewraps his arms around youpulling you closer to his body. You cry against him for all the pain you've felt and the grief that has been caused but mainly because he's back.

Back with you. Where he belongs.

After a while your crying subsides and you look up into his face memorising everything, as you were scared you were going to forget him.

You claim his lips again soft, slow and sensual to begin with but that soon turns into a craving passion.

"Show me," you whisper against his lips while at the same time attempting to remove his shirt, "show me how much you love me."

That night, the night you came back you make love to her. Devoid of her touches for so long your body is screaming for her. The slightest contact, caress or stroke sends your skin crazy.

Afterwards you hold her in your arms relishing once again in her touch, she's about to speak but you don't want to ruin the moment, "shhh lets go to sleep," you say but at once regret it. The panic that flashed in her eyes breaks your heart and you immediately know what she is thinking as she voices the question.

"But what if you're not here when I wake up?" She pleads.

"I will be," you reassure.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

You wait till she has drifted off in your arms before closing your eyes.

You both know that your place will be here together forever and always and not even in death will you part.

* * *

**If you got this far and didn't get muddled i'm impressed. Well done!**

**Just let me know what you thought and thank you for reading**

**Granger-gurl-rox**


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